Governmentium

[aegean]

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

 

 

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

 

 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peeons.

 

 

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction, that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

 

 

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

 

 

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, a related element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, but has half as many peeons and twice as many morons.

 

 

There are strong indications of the existence of local variants of Governmentium.  Strangely, these variants do have electrons, but they appear to be entirely negatively charged and therefore highly unstable.  These variants are known informally as local Governmentium, and appear subject to regular chaotic events, also related to catalytic reactions with money, which result in them being converted to Administratium. On gravity maps they appear as  localised black holes, leading to speculation that they are actually composed of anti-matter particles. 

 

 

[Zedman240®]

Not only that, they distort time and gravity and have a radioactive decay time of over 3 million years. They are only 150 or so years old now so they should be hanging around for a while.

[Zeddophile]

Awesome.  Just.... awesome.