Mr240z Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 BANKSTOWN HIGH SCHOOL - CITY OF BANKSTOWN - MATHEMATICS EXAM NAME ........................................ GANG........................................ Time allowed 1 hour 1. If Mohamed lowers his WRX 2 inches front and back and puts on stolen 18-inch Zepter wheels, how many inches has he originally lost from the stock suspension? 2. If Con needs 3 razors a day to stay clean shaved, how many razors will he need before he goes to the gym at 8.00 pm ? 3. If Mustaffa runs 10 km from the Police in Lakemba to Punchbowl, then steals a car and drives another 5 km to Bankstown , how many kilometres has he travelled if he ends up hiding in WileyPark? 4. Omar has 2 ounces of cocaine. He sells an '8 ball' to Hamil for $320.00 and 2 grams to Akhmed for $85.00 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it.? 5. If Ahmed receives $200.00 per week disability allowance from Centrelink, also works for his brother as a builder and receives a further $400.00 per week, and then pays $10.00 per week for each of his 11 children for school, how much money does he have left to buy a smashed Tarago from the auctions? 6. If the average spray can covers 22 square metres and the average letter is 8 square centimetres, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint? 7. If Soula needs 25 mls of wax per day to get rid of her facial hair, and Soula is only 19 years old, how many mls will her mother need if she is 47? 8. Mohamed has an AK-47 with 2 x 30 round clips. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attend before he has to reload? 9. If Jim changes the oil in his Fish & Chips shop deep fryer every 18 months and this costs him $400.00, how often should he change the oil if he wants to spend only $180.00 per annum on new oil? 10. If Abdo runs a Donor Kebab shop and works as a Taxi driver on weekends and earns $1, 200.00 per week, how much does Centrelink give him for his job search allowance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauly_adams Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 please facebook this so i can laugh all day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.A.R. Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 FARKING ROFL!!!!! I've got tears in my eyes! That's GOLD Pauly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enzo Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 I like a joke as much as the next person, but I think that in these times racist humor would be the last thing that needs to be posted on an Automotive website that is viewed worldwide. I am disappointed that it is endorsed by a moderator. David. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevo_gj Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 Oh please, Pauly and Lurch are the least politically correct people in the world - it's just a copy paste from a thousands similar jokes I see on FB every day. IMO this is harmless. (Damnit there goes my 1337 post count ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators gav240z Posted June 3, 2010 Administrators Share Posted June 3, 2010 If anyone finds this offensive please feel free to contact me. Whilst I'm sure it's all in good fun, it does tend to pick on a particular enthic group and may be something that's best shared via personal mail as opposed to public forum. - I will put down my PC Policeman's Hat Now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
620Z Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 Oldie but a goodie. Leave it there. This political correct bullshivere is starting to drive me crazy. Get over it and move on. If all the foreigners don't like it then they can go home. Oh by the way you can call me anything and won't get my feelings hurt because I'm a man not a whimp. Oh I know it's OK to wear a burque in Australia but can I wear shorts or my wife wear a skimpy top in many or those (you know where) countries? It's OK we will just roll over and cower to the world to keep the minority happy. Truth be known most of the people who's nationality is "implied" would laugh at this. AUSTRALIA NOT THE LUCKY COUNTRY ANYMORE. But don't get me started. Bla Bla Bla....... :'( From craig@getalife.com not a moderator. Now you can lock or sensor this. Ha Ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Zedman240® Posted June 3, 2010 Moderators Share Posted June 3, 2010 I found it halarious... its unfortunately funny but true though. If you find it offensive, just don't read it. Simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightmaster240z Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 So wrong yet so funny It nice to see a little hummer first thing in the morning that not political correct Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sirpent Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Being of non Anglo Saxon decent, and not being able to claim with pride that my fore fathers came to this great Nation in cuffs aboard one of the ships in the first fleet, I can tell you all that this isn’t offensive at all, if it is then shows like fat Pizza Summer High and the Chasers should be banned from any public airing, the first show mentioned is produced by wogs may add. The problem in Australia, as Craig came close to touching upon, is that many of the modern day immigrants to this country are insular and unwilling to assimilate into mainstream Australian culture, the European wogs of the 1950's, which my parents were part of suffered greatly due to the intolerance of mainstream Australian society to accept them, its true, those wogs ended up doing all the jobs no one else would do and copped an ear full nevertheless, however they managed to gain some respect and recognition, eventually. When they set foot on this fair land they had made a commitment to themselves but more so to their children that they would provide them a better life from the ones they walked away from, that commitment bore recognition that these immigrants were prepared to assimilate into mainstream Australia and contribute to it. It's something I dont see in today's arrivals bar the Vietnamese community who I watched in the 70's arriving in droves by boat, "The Boat" people as they were known then, and I remember watching Willasie on A Current Affair one night and making a childish derogetory remark as a 10 year old and then feeling a slap in the head from my father over it. He said two things to me that night, that they were no different than what he was escaping tyrany when he immigrated, and that they would contribute to this country in return for it opening it's doors to them, he was right they did and are and I couldnt immagine Australia being without some of the great Vietnamese Australians I have come to know, I cant say the same for the current batch from some of those far off exotic lands, in their eyes Australia is a corrupt whore in the service of the great Satan nation of the United States, our morals and beliefs are questioned, only one religon is the true one, there is only one place for a female in their eyes, and democracy to them is based on the teachings and words manipulated by their clerics as being Gods word. This is the stupid thing, 90% of the people I speak to dont realise that Jewdaism, Christianity and Islam are all off shots of the same base religon, Christians in essence are Jews who believe Christ was the saviour, Jews believe Christ was a profit but not the saviour and are therefore still waiting for his arrival, while those of Islamic faith recognise Christ as a profit but believe that Mohamed was Allah's true conveyor of his word having written the Koran as oppossed to Christianities New testament and the Jewish old testament. Have I missed something here, how did this get so screwed up ? Anyhow dosnt matter Im more of a Budhist even though I was baptised a Roman Catholic. So when an Australian Wog reads these kinds of posts what’s there to be angered about? nothing really, it is however different when you are an insular immigrant who does not accept Australia nor its population as your own, when your beliefs and values are tied to a foreign government and culture, and you see yourself living amongst infidels as opposed to living amongst your chosen community. Even I have problems with these concepts, if this is not the land you wish to live in, and are determined to change it from within to mimic some far off state model, then the only reason you are here is for financial benefit and reward and to dismantle the cultural fibres of Australia’s being, and that doesn’t cut it with this wog offspring. Let it be, I LMAO reading it, and it could be easily re-written to represent a Bogan High School somewhere in Melbourne, it probably has already, unfortunately we can’t read the text on some web sites. What is political correctness? a phrase made up by some legal firm in order to substanuate legal proceedings in a deflamation case I think. John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
620Z Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Ha well don't get John started.......... so much more I could add. But this ain't the place so I will just second the motion. Oh and this site certainly welcomes any person from any back ground. As long as you have an interest in Zeds and happy to join in with Auszcar culture, banter and bulltripe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverendzed Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 John, your description of 1950's immigration is spot on! and yes the whole process of assimilation and contribution is our big issue right now. Your statements of derivative religions is a little shady but that's for another time Rev. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris240 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 hehe Yeah read the exam a while ago...superb reading as are Johns excellent comments.. p.s. I read this while eating a lamb shawerma with tzaziki... now lets think about that, a lebanese roll with greek sauce... supprised you cant smell my breath 1000kms away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RBZ 260 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 lol at the exam. hey its a freaking joke u see worse in Fat Pizza and most people seem to like it. very good points John and LOL Chris240... did u burp?? .... smell it all the way here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sirpent Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Thanks Johny And just to prove a point to all on here, Johny and I have spoken on a number of occasions off line, Johnny's heritage is Serb and mine Croat and even though our historical countrymen in the Balkans have been at each others throats for some 600 years, Johny and I are Australian and live and let live. Cheers Buddy............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MR260 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Im still trying to do the Math!!! I reckon i would fail this exam Maybe I shouldnt have dropped out in year 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.A.R. Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Fantastic post John BTW, on all Vic. AusZcar overnight runs (Tassie, Threadbo etc.) all talk of Politics & Religion are strictly banned & not to be discussed. Everyone has their own opinion, but for us it's not about what political and/or religious lines we walk - it's about the cars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sirpent Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Thanks Lurch, So does this mean I have gained your respect now and you will refrain from calling me a Big Wog in private in the future? LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverendzed Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 My philosophy: If you tell a joke and absolutely no one's offended, you're telling it wrong. Rev. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chev z Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Not really concerned with the joke article but did have a chuckle at the nice little pun that Sirpent had in his written thoughts...."Jews believe Christ was a profit [ prophet ]..." Jews have always believed in monetary profits , hence the old saying when being tight with ones cash ' ya jewish tight wad'. But then most religions are more concerned about profit than principle Time to stop , but I did enjoy the pun and Sirpents writings "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" ...[ I hope thats sort of correct Rev ]... seems to be a good way to live your life and it also takes out religon , racism, politics.. etc Laughter is the best medicine , thats whats why I smile at the 'slinky' joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaygZ Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Chev, it's "Let he who is without aim cast the first stone." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaygZ Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 I know that we are not supposed to discuss religion, but I just found this and I liked it and wanted to share. Sharing is what life and this forum are all about, so not even Lurch should argue with the 'purpose of life'! Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie , Texas : (1) Just one God. (2) Honor yer Ma & Pa. (3) No telling tales or gossipin'. (4) Git yourself to Sunday meeting. (5) Put nothin' before God. (6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal. (7) No killin'. ( Watch yer mouth. (9) Don't take what ain't yers. (10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff. Couldn't be simpler!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sirpent Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Chev, I was wondering when someone would pick up on that ? LMFAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RBZ 260 Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Thanks Johny And just to prove a point to all on here, Johny and I have spoken on a number of occasions off line, Johnny's heritage is Serb and mine Croat and even though our historical countrymen in the Balkans have been at each others throats for some 600 years, Johny and I are Australian and live and let live. Cheers Buddy............... no problems mate. Proud to be Australian. so any more jokes? i got one at work that i got recently its targeting Italians (in a good way) LOL change of tune LOL but have to wait till monday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stivva Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 My old man bought home a printed out copy of this about 8 years ago which was photocopied 100 times and distributed (He didn't know what email was back then lol). It never offended anybody at that point in time and still just as funny now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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